Forty-two attempts!

Well folks, I’m back with one more story. All characters and events depicted in this post are fictional, and any resemblance to persons living, dead, or fictional or situations past, present, or fictional is purely and completely coincidental.


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1.


All I can see is a white sheet of paper in front of me. For the first time ever, I was about to write a love letter. One hour had passed and I’m still not able to think anything. I never realized it could be such a Herculean task. Well, love stories never fascinated me on screen or in print. But it doesn’t mean that I cannot fall in love. And yes that’s what happened: I fell in love. But I never thought it’s after effects would be so tiresome and fatigued.

I never knew one day I would be sitting in front of my desk at night 1am and would be writing letter to my love Aarthi. When my friends used to write such things I used to say “That’s ridiculous”. But now I had to.

When I proposed to Aarthi, she flinched and asked me “What kind of proposal was that?” I thought I had done it in a romantic way, but later her expressions said it all. But now I’ve learnt my lesson. Let me tell you something, proposing a girl is like selling a product. Product should be good, if not, atleast packaging should be done neat and clean with lot of embellishments. Infact today Packaging is all that works. And of course, how you ‘sell’ your product is more important than the ‘product’ itself. But in my case, Product, packaging and selling were not good. Hence the question “What kind of proposal was that??”

“Uh... What else you expect me to do??” I had asked

“You come to me like a moron and say you love me, and you expect me to accept your proposal”? Just like that? “

“But Aarthi, I cannot do all those filmy things. It’s so yucky! Ok how about me getting you a Bourneville now?” I winked.

“Shut up! Ok atleast write me a love letter – on a sheet of paper.”

“What? Love letter? You must be kidding me. We are living in a digital world Aarthi, for heavens’ sake”

“Whatever, but I’m old fashioned you see.” She said and walked away smiling to herself.

I knew she was a pragmatic girl. But you see girl is a ‘girl’, a special kind of species with X chromosomes. That’s why all these nakhras. She was trying to be foolishly romantic. Anyways I had accepted the challenge. “You want me to write a love letter? Fine. It’s just a piece of cake on a piece of paper.” I had said to myself to boost my confidence.






2.



I saw the clock; it was half past one in the night. Blank sheet in front of me reflected the complete state of my mind. I went out to my balcony, and then came back. Threw my pen on the cot and got it back again. Went near the door and swiveled. Again came back to my table picking my pen up. I had to write it at any cost.


“Ok. Let’s do it!” I said that to no one in particular. Not even to myself. I was baffled and a confused soul.


“Dear Aarthi…” I wrote after five full minutes of contemplating.


“Goddamn it!” I cursed my self. “Dear Aarthi…” was way too formal. I crumpled the paper and threw it in the dustbin.


Then I thought “Dearest Aarthi…” and wrote it on the sheet of paper.


No way! Rule no 1: Never try too hard to please a girl. Be natural.


Then that sheet of paper too ended in the dustbin. I thought to myself and again wrote “Aarthi, my love”. Wasn’t that overly romantic? I didn’t really know. Without thinking much, I crumpled that paper and threw into the dustbin.


I was getting frustrated. Why don’t they accept the proposal just like that? I guess it’s one of the Rules of chicks ‘When a boy proposes to you, never accept it immediately’


Finally on a new sheet of paper I wrote, “My love”. This sounded better and I was finally convinced. Now I started writing the body of the letter.


“You are one of the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen…” I stopped writing and analyzed the sentence. No ways! Sheela was more beautiful than Aarthi. Love letter should always be honest. So I threw the paper again.


I changed the whole format I wrote “Dearest, Its not that I think you are the most beautiful girl in this world. There are certainly many babes around, but whenever I see you or talk to you or simply be with you or hear your voice or look at those beautiful eyes and many other things I can’t mention, my mind attains its state of tranquility. You are not the girl of my dreams, but the girl of my life, my reality


After all these attempts I felicitated myself “wah! Splendid!” But soon I got skeptical. “There are certainly many babes around...?” No. What was I thinking? This wasn’t working out right. I again crumpled the paper and threw into the dustbin, Lebron James type. Wohoo!! It was a two pointer.


Three hours passed and dustbin was filling up. None of the letter was worthy enough to make it inside envelope. Finally even the envelope ended in the dustbin. I knew she too had feelings for me. But even she couldn’t have helped it I guess. She was bound by the rules.


I had given up. No more of this love letter business. It’s not my cup of tea. Then, I threw all my paper in dustbin and cleared the table. I was in deep somnolence and started walking back to my bed.


Suddenly something flashed to my mind, and I did the Unthinkable.

3.


Next day I got message from Aarthi that she would be arriving to my room at 6pm. I combed my hair, wore cologne, my favorite t-shirt and jeans, and waited for her with curbed breath. I knew she was going to blast me. But it didn’t matter to me because, I had tried my best, and this is all I can do.


The previous day, I had mailed her a package. I had decorated it with lot of embellishments too. And in it, were all the crumpled balls of paper – the proof of my futile attempts to write her a love letter. That was my idea of telling her that I had tried my best. I think probably no boy in this world has ever tried to do as crazy as a thing like this. Now which boy wants his girl to read the trial versions of his love letter?! Well, I was an exception. This would go down in the history of love letter writing, I was sure. An example of what a boy shouldn’t do – should never do.

I was about to be proved wrong.

Aarthi came to my room and didn’t utter a single word. In my attempt to impress her I had forgotten to clean my room. Clothes, DVDs, CDs, empty beer bottles, etc. everything were thrown around. My room was at its filthiest best.

I picked up my clothes and made some space for her. Then I went to pick up empty beer bottles and she stopped me “That’s alright.”

We sat diagonally opposite to each other. I knew she was furious for what I did “Listen Aarthi, I’m really sorry for what I did. I couldn’t think straight. You know I’m very straight guy… Damn! Of course I’m straight. I mean writing love letter is not of my type you know. I tried my level best. I know I’m not romantic enough to.. “

"Who said you are not romantic?” she said, cutting me off.


“Huh??” I was flabbergasted.


“You know, if you had written a flowery love letter for me, I would have surely puked.” She said.

“But… but you said me to write one!”

“Well, I was curious to know of course. Even if you’d told me directly that you were not going to try it, I’d not have bothered”

I arched my brows, I crinkled my eyes, I frowned, I smirked, I scratched my head – I was utterly baffled.

She giggled.

“Hmm… so you read all those I sent you? Please tell me you didn’t.” I finally said thinking by sending that package I did a big mistake.

“Yes, I read all the forty-two attempts.” She said and laughed.

Oh damn! What have I done?!

She moved closer to me and said “You know what; when one writes a love letter, his true feelings are manifested on those papers that end up in a wastebasket. The final edition is always sugary, but unfortunately, it isn’t sweet. It’s just a vague attempt to impress the reader. A girl like me can easily look through it. I am fortunate to have known what you really feel about me,” she stopped for a moment and then continued, “And I don’t think you’ll ever be able say those things you desperately tried to say in those letters. I am perfectly ok with it,” she said, ruffling my hair.

I sat there speechless. She smiled. And what a smile it was! Her full scarlet lips broke into a beautiful curve as a twinkle came into her forget-me-not eyes. It was similar to seeing a red rose blooming on an early dew-filled morning

Then she gave a winsome smile and asked me “Aren’t you going to say anything?”

I struck a pose by cradling my chin with my thumb and forefinger, and said, “Well, is it necessary?”

“Well, I think not,” she said and gave me a wink.

******************** The end *************************

Escape from the Reality! (Part-1)

He could feel his heart beating. His hands were swithering as he could see nothing in front of him. He was standing at the edge of the Tippu Drop, Nandi Hills. The gushy air current hit his face and he could feel the death calling him. He had given all his hopes and had made up his mind to leave this wonderful world. He was just 20yrs like me and you. He was stranded in apathy and could envision the entire bad things happened to him recently. He knew his time had come. With shivering legs he moved his right leg forward... Suddenly he could hear a harsh voice coming from behind.


"Hey you! stop right there my son. What do you think you are doing?"

To his bewilderment he turned back and saw a man in his late 70's wearing a monkey cap covering his ears, baggy jeans, striped shirt which was bit torn here and there and worn out shoe.


"Stop right there old man! Don't you dare to come near me. I've decided not to live in this world anymore. You cannot stop me.. just go away."

"Alright Daksh. I'm not going to stop y0u. Why don't you procrastinate your suicidal attempt and talk to me for few minutes."


He was dumbfounded and his mind was thunderstruck.
"What the hell! How in this earth did you get to know my name?" awestruck Daksh asked the old man.

"Calm down my son. I know everyone's name is this world. I'm the one who created you." man said in his gentle voice.


"You think I'm gone mad here?? Someone just stops me before I jump and tells he is a god. Am I looking like a lunatic person to you?" said Daksh angrily.

Without raising his voice the man continued "Daksh, I'm lord Brahma. I'm the one who created mankind and this huge universe."


Daksh burst out laughing "hahaha.. Lord brahma??" pointing to him "Lord brahma in this attire with torn out baggy jeans?? hahaha.. now where are your other faces? Is it virtually hidden?"

Brahma without getting tempestuous "Son! Why do you believe what others say? Have you ever seen brahma with your naked eye before? People just assume things and write it. Can you show me evidence that brahma existed with four heads? Its all bullshit. Its me, the cool dude lord brahma!"

Daksh amused by brahma's words "wow! can't really believe. I'm really gonna become a maniac. hahaha.." his eyes rolled and sat there awestricken.

Brahma asked "Now Daksh tell me why were you trying something of this sort with your life? What made you do this?" with his eyebrows raised.


"I don't know. I mean there's lot of things which are frustrating me. This sick society, Corrupted politicians, frauds, cheaters, and beguilers. Last week I had participated in University level Debate competition. I had given my best shot and was well appreciated too. But the prize went to the college who hosted this event. I had seen that guy's performance, he was stammering a lot and didn't even deserve a prize. Judges, prize.. oh god.. everything is fixed and rigged up. I attended a placement interview and everyone were quite impressed the way I handled the proceedings. But later, voila! 'better luck next time'.. this is what I got. The girl whom I loved so much betrayed me. Politicians are corrupted, everyone thinks for their own benefit, I hate my country. This is not going to change or rather no is going to change. I can never sustain in this society with dignity. Even my kids might end up one day being a terrorist. I want to end here itself." Daksh with his disgruntled voice, threw a stone and started to weep.

Brahma said "Son, Come out of your misconceptions. Don't blame the society or politicians or people, blame yourself. You cannot change the things around you. Even if you become president or prime minister, you cannot fully change the minds of people. The change should be within you. First you should change and start thinking positively. You should spread the positive energy among everyone. Isn't there any single thing which has made you happy with your life? Aren't there any moments you would like to cherish every moment?? Have you thought about your mom and dad? They love you each and every single moment."

Daksh stopped him "Its not about me. I cannot survive in this bought, debased, corrupted and profaned community. May be I'm not suitable for this world. My intellectuals are completely different. huh!" sighed.

"This is the balance of nature. Good and Bad co-exist. You've to experience everything in your life the way it comes. Death should come in search of you. You shouldn't be going in search of death. Wake up my son, there is lot to achieve in this world for you. Okay, I know what you are still thinking. Just close your eyes." brahma said this and started muttering something.

contd...

Escape from the Reality! (Part-2)

Now Daksh wakes up from his bed with strange and unusual feeling. He switches on the TV. The main headlines on Television was 'Osama Bin Laden surrendered'. He was in a state of shock. The world was completely changed. All the politicians who had black money in their swiss accounts just revealed it and gave all the money to the government. Rivalary between India-Pak had ended and now they've become bhai-bhai. Terrorism is completely deracinated and extirpated. There was no job for soldiers as peace prevailed everywhere and they were sent back home. All criminals surrendered and their heart had become pure. There was no need of police in the society. All the wepon industry were shut down. No more nuclear reactors and wepons. The economy of the country decreased drastically. Government of few countries had lot of money didn't know where to spend, so for each citezen they paid some amount every month. It was sufficient enough for few people and they never went for the job. The situation had become so lethargic. There was no competation amongst the people. Most of the schools and colleges were shut down. They couldn't find people who can come forward and drive bus on street.

Daksh couldn't bear this anymore. He shouted closing his ears and eyes. He just wanted to get out of there. When he opened his eyes, Brahma was standing before him.

"What the hell is going on? I mean why all the bad people became good? I'm not understanding. Can you educate me?" Daksh asked thwartingly.

"This is what you needed right? A place without corruption. A place where there's no fraud happening, everyone are good, no more imposters. This must have been an utopia for you. Wasn't it my son?" said brahma with a smirk.

Daksh Just collapsed there dumbstruk and flummoxed. He didn't know what to say. His mind was boggling with random thoughts.

Brahma contiued "Son, there is something which you must know. You will never get what you expect. If you want something, you've to create it. The good and bad is in your hands. If you create good, there is someone who will create exactly opposite of it. Rather than expecting from the world, its you who have to contribute for the global prosperity and integrity. Blaming others for your failure makes you a loser. You've to live with it son, that's life! If you run away do you think anything is going to change? It doesnt' matter if you don't believe in me, but believe yourself. You can try, but you can't escape, from this world, from yourself, from the real truth. Now that you are dragged into this game, DEAL with it, in your own style. Live and let live."

Brahma gave a big hug to Daksh and vanished. Daksh stood there, marveling at what he had just heard and experienced. As silence sang in the air, a small gust of cool breeze caressed his face. He looked at the night sky which was covered with a blanket of darkness. But it didn't matter him anymore, as he had found the light.


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