Pursuit of following rules-1

Welcome To Bangalore City, the so called "Garden city" or rather "Garbage city". This isn't related to what I'm going to write now. I was just Imagining how Bangalore was, five years back. We hardly used to see fly-overs, underpass, etc. Because of this Metro project, mayhem is created. I hardly promenade on KR road these days, which used to be one of my favorite lane for a stroll in the evening!

Folks, I'm providing few guidelines here to follow the rules when you are struck in a huge traffic or signal. These are based purely on my personal experience. Let me sort it out by situation.

Situation 1: On my way to Jaynagar 4th block, I had stop for a signal in south end circle. Timer was ticking and when there was just 6 seconds for the green signal. A fat plump guy in Maruti Omni started honking and was shouting at me to break that signal and make transition. The 10second conversation was like this:

me: What's your problem??

fatty: nan magne...mundhe hogo! *honk* (my son..move forward)

me: innu signal bittilla alwa? swalpa kayri! (still there is red signal, wait for a while)

fatty: Nan Kelsa hodre..neen sambLa kodthya? hogo mundhe..(if I lose my job, will you give me salary? move forward)

By the time conversation ended, signal was already green. I changed my gear, and advanced to the next signal in 3rd block Jayanagar. The guy in the Omni came and parked just next to me. He was staring at me, just the way a slaughterer looks at the meat before he cuts. The plump guy lowered his window completely, and said

fatty: nodappa nin hatra Karizma irbohudu, adre bere avrige tondre kodbardu!(you might have karizma, but you should not trouble others)

I was dumfounded and flabbergasted! Why on earth was he referring to my Karizma? I'm sure he would have thought that I'm some rich guy with repugnant attitude. Well, all I can say is "Owner's pride, Neighbors envy"! So to avoid getting lambasted from people, jump the signal prior 10 seconds to green signal. If you don't, definitely you'll face the situation as I did.

Situation 2: I'm fond of exploring places and had never been to JP nagar area. This incident happened near Rangashankara. It was around 6:25 in the evening, and I was struck in a huge traffic. There was green signal but no movement of vehicles. I guess the engine of BMTC bus must have got overheated, so the passengers were getting down. People had completely lost their patience there was again honking, creating a severe noise pollution measurable up to 130dB I guess.(I'm a vtu engineer, so just assumed the noise level). I was still, placid and patiently waiting for the traffic to get cleared, resting my one foot on footpath and other on brake. There was a guy in TVS victor who was just next to me. He smirked and insisted me to go over the footpath, so that even he could escape the traffic. I simply refused to do that. All of a sudden he was accompanied by two more two-wheelers, shouting at the top of their voice and started yelling at me. All I could hear was,

late, helid matu kelu, keluvru irthare bidi, tale kettidya ninge....

(situation is quite comparable)

I had no other option but to go on the footpath. I hated myself for doing that because two days back I had given Karizma for service and moreover footpath was in the worst condition. So folks, when there is a Brobdingnagian traffic, just look for a footpath and save your time. Don't make the mistake as I did!

Situation 3: How often do we see people jumping the red signal? Don't you think breaking signal has become a routine process? I guess Bangalore crowd is suffering from colour blindness! Red or Orange, people hypothetically assume it to be green. I wasn't able to figure it out, what was the reason behind this. But one day while waiting for signal near BMS college, I figured out this conundrum. voila! The reason behind this is Doppler effect.

The frequency of waves change when relative velocity between the source and the observer is non-zero. And the wavelength decreases when the observer is approaching the source. It is possible to see a Red (or orange) light as Green if you're driving too fast! So when you see yellow, you hurry. That makes it green. If you go much faster, then red light apparently appears to be green. Doesn't this theory perfectly fits the situation? Now the only matter of fact is how fast you must be traveling to observe this effect. Since the wavelengths are in nanometers, Doppler effect can be modified to Relativistic Doppler effect.. Considering the Special Theory of Relativity, fs=f0*√(1+v/c)/(1-v/c), where 'v' is the velocity, 'c' is the speed of light, and 'f0' is the actual frequency. Since Red and Green have wavelengths around 700nm and 500nm respectively, velocity value comes closer to 0.324*c. At this speed, time goes much slower and hence it takes longer time to apply brakes and stop.

I have been observing for a very long time now. More worse the traffic gets, the more crowded it is, and more jams you have. Waiting at each signal 3-4 times usually makes the driver behave unruly and they tend to 'push' slowly out of their restlessness. Even though people are conscious, witting and follow traffic rules, the situation makes them to break it. Considering my case, what could have I done? Argued with them? Definitely it would have resulted in pandemonium.

'Real'ity Rapists!

Do you remember watching some of the episodes in "Doordarshan era" before this "cable era" took over? Those were they days where people used to get some real content. I still remember the episodes of "Malgudi days", "THE HERO", "A HORSE AND TWO GOATS", "THE HOARD", "SWAMI AND HIS FRIENDS", etc. Not to forget some of the shows they used to put like "Aalif Laila", "Chandrakanta", "Dekh bhai Dekh", etc., even though it used to be silly, but they were truly entertaining. It was a really a pleasure watching these shows. As I mentioned earlier, apart from entertainment, they had some CONTENT in them.

Fast forward 10 years >>>>>>>

Today we see some of the shows like Rakhi 'Silicone' Sawant and her disciples at their best brutish behavior. Channels are loaded with mindless crap, to name a few like : Rakhi ka Swaymvar, Sach Ka Samna, Iss Jungle se Mujhe Bacho, Big Boss, MTV Roadies, Splitsvilla, etc.

Well, till now I had a belief that Humans have brains in their heads. But seriously after watching these shows I'm forced to believe that their brains is situated under the belt, and in case of women, below the neck. People are so despo, trying to prove themselves that they've got big brains. Voila!!! Lets welcome the brainiest people on earth! Gosh!


These are the kinds of shows where you won’t find anything except the bitch fights. The topic everywhere seems to be the same: Who is the biggest bitch of the lot? And every girl tries her level best to prove that she is the one. ‘I’m the biggest bitch,’ yells one, to which the other responds, ‘You could be a bitch, but I’m a bitchy bitch.’ Another girl shouts at the top of her voice, ‘You both could be bitches, but I’m a bitchy whore.’ Another female is hell bent on proving her mettle, and screams, ‘Perhaps you don’t know me. You all could be bitches and whores, but I’m a bitchy whore with a slutty attitude.’ Now beat that. Well, no prizes for guessing. The last one is the winner! She gets the prize from the producers of the show and the TV viewer is mercilessly raped in the head. Do heads swell up after a few weeks? Sorry, guys! I'm not experienced in this stuff. I've always taken care of my ‘izzat’ very well.

I happened to get a mail, which gave me links to the uncensored version of MTV roadies. Now just don't go on searching for it, because it has already been removed. I'll post some of "dialogues" by the participants. I'm writing this uncensored and hope you take it in right way.

Ankita: I’m not a f***ng slut like you, yaar. And I don’t need to sleep my way into the show... Mere baap ki c*nd*m ki dukaan nahin hai. Tere baap ki hogi…samjhi? (to shambhavi)

Shambhavi: F##k off! (Arguing about a previous task where the boys were made to strip if the girls got GK answers wrong)



Its better to stop the conversation here. While this was going on, boys standing beside, were thinking "Who could be my best partner?" "Wow..she bitches damn well man!!" The zeroes of this show were analyzing 'I guess she is the perfect match for me! why? that's because I'm the best dog of the whole lot. Simple!'

If there are any roadies fan reading my blog, who are quite interested to do or watch some REAL stuff and who claim the life is all about 'adventure', let me tell you one incident that happened, I've some news for you! Recently a 19 yr old girl, Krushnaa Patil, from Pune climbed the Mt. Everest. She became the youngest woman in the world to conquer the summit. Now, that’s something called an adventure! Not this reality show like 'Roadies' bringing all that 'slut' matter in women and protracting it in national television.

Now coming to Big Boss. I just don't understand, why people glue themselves to the television as soon as the clock strikes 9? I'll ask some simple question.. Why do you want to something that's happening in their lives? All you happen to see is some stupid fight for food, groceries, gossips or some or the other crap. All the contestants are forced to play like that, and they are paid for that. After they come out, they don't even see each others face. Its again all about bitching and Emotional Atyachaar. Well let me put it in simple words, they are paid for bitching each other. All the time inside the house, is about attitude adjustment. When Kamal threw bottle on Rohit, all members were pissed off, and reportedly that week had the highest TRP points. What's so great about that? You see cabal in streets, it's so commonly visible. Shilpa Shetty returned from UK, after winning Big Brother and did you see the welcome she got? Man! Had she been to an expedition to mars or something! duh!

Talking about the recent one which just got over last month, Rakhi Sawant's Swaymvar. (Have you ever seen Rakhi without make up? yuck!! you feel like puking on her face.) I think people participated in this show, just to get some fame. I'm sure they would have divorced her after getting some good name in industry. I'm still not able to figure it out! Was she trying to prove that she is a female? And most important of all, Why are you even bothered about her marriage? Is it something which is very important? Media gives a hype as if she has got some Oscars. damn! It was like pain in the a**s, watching all those contestants trying to impress her. I had to tranquilize myself with a tablet of Anacin. Gosh! Was the Great Almighty suffering from some kind of rare disease like Swine flu or Elephantiasis when he created her?!

In 'Iss jungle se mujhe bacho', few people complained that they over expose stuff and show how they bath and all! The producer, Chitrashi, gave a strong statement stating "I don’t understand why people are making a big issue out of it. Any damn channel you see is showing skin show and objectionable content, why target reality shows? What if they are showing people bathing, they are actually living that life. You don’t expect them to wear jeans and pants while taking a bath."

Dudes and Dudettes what's your take on this? huh! Lets say, if you really wanna show how they bath, why don't you record it and post it in youtube? I would be making some good amount of dollars. You'll be named as Chitrashi Hilton! And what's about all about using a beep sound? Do you think people will assume it as "Luck"? Crazy immature bimbo! Grow up!!

In my opinion, 'F**k' has become a synonym for 'Attitude', courtesy no longer considered as good quality, but rather a 'weakness'. TV is no longer considered as a source of news and information, its all bugged up with reality shows. Its all about real fights, real back stabbings, real use of profanity, real bitching, real skin, real vulgarity, and real gratuitous violence. There is an IPC section, where the criminal is put behind the bars for not less than 7 years for raping. Now tell me, is there any Section, which punishes the people who rape the minds of younger generations? You see a small kid and ask him what are your ambitions, the reply would be "I want to become a roadie!", "I want to win sa re ga ma pa little champs", "I want to become like Sharukh Khan"...What the hell? Don't you think that children today are losing their innocence?

I think its time to chew over and to contemplate. I know we cannot stop these shows, but there is something which we can do. Lets just stop encouraging these shows. This type of shows puts a real pressure on younger generations. Perhaps this is the real moment of truth! what say?

P.S: Instead of watching "Sach ka..crap" or "Iss jugle se..blah blah" download all the episodes of Lost, it has adventure, mystery and of course babes. Or watch some of the good American sitcoms like "Big Bang Theory", "Two and half men", "My wife and kids" etc., they are the best entertainers. Or watch Prison break. Its definitely worth it.

1st yr anniversary!

One year completed? I realized that today, and I'm still flabbergasted (p.s: my favorite word) . First of all, I would like to thank everyone who supported me and commented on my blog. This is just the type of platform I needed to express my views. I've been successful in expressing my thoughts through my poems and posts, and a great cheers to all those who supported me from the bottom of my heart.

I still remember the day when one of my friend suggested me to start a blog. I was very diffident about writing something in public, but trust me folks, its just the start what you need. I'll be very frank, I was an introvert before starting this blog, thinking what would be the people's reaction towards my blog. Sometimes I used to think, "My language of presentation isn't that great compared to my virtuoso friends", "What shall I write? What topics to choose? What if I start and people don't read it, thinking its not upto their level?" But an year of experience has taught me a lot, and for new bloggers who are just about to start, here is a small tip from a neophyte, "Just don't bother about the language, its the content what you present is more important. Regular bloggers never give priority to the language, but yes, present it well so that you earn a good readership at the beginning".

It really feels good when someone comes and says "Hey Dileep, I read your blog. Great going, Keep it up". This is the kind encouragement I'm getting from my friends and family. I require more open suggestion from you, so that I am able to know what people really expect from me. Please post your valuable suggestions, so that I can be a better blogger. Once again, thank you guys, love you all. cheers... :)

Probability of getting someone "special"!!

ಕನ್ನಡ ರಾಜ್ಯೋತ್ಸವದ ಹಾರ್ದಿಕ ಶುಭಾಶಯಗಳು!!! ಬಾರಿಸು ಕನ್ನಡ ಡಿಂಡಿಮವ....

I seriously don't know why I'm writing like this, just a thought struck to me. So here I go.. Have you ever thought of someone special in your life? Yes I'm stressing on "someone special", so how do you get yourself a "special" someone??? Alright then, She (HE in case of a female reader, gosh I seriously doubt girls think in this convoluted way) need not be that special, just enough to make others flabbergasted, how 'you' of all people managed to get hitched. Don't get me wrong, you might be a great guy, with good looks, great sense of humor, all that jazz and stuff...but a 'girlfriend' ?? Seriously. Don't make me laugh, I've eaten way too much!!(p.s: I'm referring to that kind of girlfriend, not just a friend) If you are not really a girlfriend type (being so juvenile, vapid, a senseless clod with an EQ that matches a sledgehammer's..wait wait, before you pounce upon me, let me tell you, I belong to the same category as you are, and can spot a fellow idiot a mile away. Trust me!!) how do you land up with one? dumb luck? May be not, although it does help quite a bit. (Certainly more than the debonair charm you are so famous for...) Maybe you need the charm reminiscent of a 80's movie star! Definitely that's not going to happen, maybe you have to wait for another era, where cloning takes over the plastic surgery and you look like George Clooney or Di Caprio.

Great!!!.. Now we've eliminated two choices that a girl looks for, and you don't have. Then what can you do, to give up your bachelor status?? hmm.. sweet talk? communication between the two hearts? (maybe you need to have good antennas and receptors, with more transmission bandwidth and anti-noise generators to suppress the the unwanted signal.. err..sorry couldn't control) When people like you and I talk, well, lets just say, we dig our own relationship graves, six feet and a whole deal more.

Nice..now three down the drain. What can you possible do now?? Flirt? I bet, by the end we'll be flirting with 'disaster'. Any similar attempts done with the opposite sex results in total, arrant and complete disaster. I guess, you would have better chance walking across a mine field, blindfolded.

OK now we are ourselves free from ostentatious Looks, Luck, Talking and Flirting. Anything left? what is it? Aha..!! its Emotional Quotient Intelligence.. So what if you are akin to that of a sledgehammer's? So what if you are a Genius? What are you going to do? Ask her out with a Calculus book (preferably Thomas and Finny) in one hand and a thesis on Digital signal processing on the other? You'll be very lucky to escape with minor injuries. Its better to shoot on your leg, guaranteed to be less painful.

Finally we are at the end of the murderously painful insight into your love related attributes. Congratulations...you are a new Enigma. Is that your runic attitude that has impressed others? How did you get a girlfriend??? Seriously........

P.S: I don't know why this Idea struck to me, and is not directed at anyone in particular. Look at the category below...