The Dark Secret Revealed!

It all started on the day when I had a small brown ball (almost a ball) of certain thickness in my hand. It was bit sticky and slightly elastic. 20 seconds into it and a suffocating quantity of highly corrosive and potentially pathogenic fluid starts to pour out of every available orifice. Fluid surrounds the material, and the upper part of the material etches away. Now the thickness of the material gets reduced for every 10seconds by a micron. This rate increases exponentially, and the old fluid gets replenished by a new fluid.

The old fluid drains out and remains are left in the chamber sorroundings. The new rejuvenated and fervent fluid can never fill the chamber because, the rate of old fluid draining out is faster than the newly generated ecstatic fluid. By this time only one half of the material will be etched. Its now time to drain the fluid, and flip the material over.

Now the process of draining out continues for a while and finally when the enough material get etched out, the dark, smooth, mellifluous, and bitter paste oozes out. This un-fermented paste is located in the core region of the material. Without etching the material, this region cannot be accessed. This new paste has to be sucked by creating low pressure region in the inner depths of the chamber.

The fluid, excited by the fresh oozing goo, helps initiate and hasten the flow of the thick paste. It helps by slowly dissolving the paste, making it a liquid and again raises the buds on the floor of the chamber.

Now the etched material gets reflected from the chambers and finally it gets crushed. The remains are drained out and certain materials raise certain buds while some other materials raise some other buds.

With this material, the buds at the front tip are raised and they pick up the dissolved material. The buds reach their highest peak when the goo oozes out and that's when you realize you have just a few more seconds before your chocolate completely melts in your mouth.

This is how a jobless freak describes the way he eats his chocoliebe.

Lost..

I felt stranded in the ocean
Waves lashing by,
Reflecting the nauseating sun
With Davy Jones’s chest calling me
With the lonely islands beckoning for company

This way or that
Where to go??

Here, there or nowhere
The world’s a big sphere – no corners, no ends

I'm Marooned with Jack Sparrow's Compass!

I walk the path –A path created
Or should I take a path unknown – a path I create
The path of forks, twists, turns and bends..

Obstacles plenty trip me down
Raging mountains and clouding forests
Evil forces of darkness found

Too much to listen

Too much to see

Baffled by the alternatives

I look at the senseless logic...trying to create sense

hope I'm followed by an albatross!

O! Mighty one
Let the lights on – the fire alight
Let the path glow
Shining through the forests
Lest there be darkness and puzzled faces
Wondering just where to go?
All lost in this world of yours…

Reminiscence of my life!

My mom came to me and said "chinnu..huttidhabbake hosa batte yavaga togothyo?(When are you going to buy new clothes for your birthday)" As soon as I heard the word "huttidhabba(birthday)" my mind started rambling and all my past memories just flashed into me. My birthday is on 17th of January, and just 7 days of 'teen' life is left. Over the past 10 years, birthdays have not been a special occasion, as it used to be when I was a toddler.

I remember as a child, my birthday used to be a special ocassion with new set of clothes and shoes to wear, mom's special delicacies to feed on and lots and lots of gifts. I used to get good amount of money as well to which used to make my piggy bank heavier. Coloured balloons decorating the hall, Mickey Mouse shaped(almost) cake, colourful candles, varities of food and my mom used to make "Vermicelli Kheer" which is my all time favorite. There used to be entire gang of bachcha party singing the birthday jingle. When I close my eyes, I recall happiest days of my life as child. Those were the days of innocence, fun and frolic. I still remember, the whole gang of my friends used to form like a train and run all over the house, and I used to be the engine. 20 years ago, a baby boy was escorted into the world, crying loud enough for a deaf man to get a pair of earmuffs lest his eardrums go tattered. After all it’s the mom's job to tell me that unless I kept quiet gumma barthe.

(from right, 2nd one)

As months rolled, I grew up into a normal kid, who thought thumb is god given candy, so I hogged on it. I used to toddle all around the drawing room, and finally end up sitting on the lap of my granny. It was one of the wierdest experience when my mom put a frock to me and took the snap. I guess at that time, I didn't know it was girl's clothes and I enjoyed wearing it. If you are wondering from where did frock come, it was my sister's. Even she helped my mom in dressing me. duh! As the days passed by a young toddler turned into a naughty lad who used to take pleasure in destructing any random object available. Any new item brought to me, never sustained for more than two days and that saga continues even today. My mom still scolds me, "neenu haLmadakke huttirodu(you are born only for causing damage)"

I spent next phase of my life in Bombay. My dad used to work in Kalyan, and there was a play ground next to my apartment. I can speak Hindi quite well, so I managed to get some good number of friends over there. The general timepass would be flying kites and playing high catches. I used to make Kite myself and with that I used to make it fly higher than any others. At that time, tennis ball wasn't a huge hit, but rubber ball was! Always I used to lose that rubber ball and ask my dad Rs.6 for buying a new one. One fine afternoon, when me and my friends were playing high catches, the ball fell into a huge sewage river which used to flow next to the ground. I made a brave attempt to get inside that and my whole body was covered with @#$%&*. Even after herculean effort, I couldn't take the ball out of it as my hand wasn't reaching it. That evening, it was just spankings from my mom. Getting into local trains in bombay is like getting gold medal in olympics. It was just pushing and pulling. Sometimes if you stand amidst the crowd, they automatically make you get into the train. I was very much fascinated by these acts and one day unknowingly I left my apartment and went to Railway Station alone which was at a walkable distance. At that time, I guess my age was 7yrs. Red colour train was more fascinating and I just went in and sat inside. Didn't even know what I was doing and where that train was going to. All thanks to almighty, my dad somehow guessed that I would be in railway station and after asking all the people and searching the whole platfrom, they found me. I still imagine what would be my position today if that train had left? what if my dad never found me? where would I be today? When I think this, it fears me even today. Well, its all past now and I thank the great almighty for staying with me always.

(from right, 2nd one)

After returning from Bombay, my life was just plain and simple. Used to go to trip yearly and spend most of the time slogging hard for getting good rank(never got though). Then two years of my college life went in vain studying for entrance exams. I couldn't clear any of those and finally ended somehow in BNMIT. Now I'm in pre-final year and next year I'm going to pass out and hopefully become more responsible. On 17th I turn 20, and I wish I could carry myself back to those fun filled days when having fun was more important than feeding the ego, grandfather's stories which was much more scarier than our assignments and exams, when dad’s shoulders were the highest place in the world, the annual visits to the circus/zoos. While I jotted these memories, I clutched my childhood close and left the chaotic present for a while only to realize that we cant get back what we have already passed.

Profanity redefined!!

Have you ever been the victim of profanity?? Well, I never use fucking profanity. Not even in my fucking narration, stories, blogs, and not even in my fucking everyday life. There are some noble souls out there, who take extreme pride in using it, and they use it fucking extensively. The resplendent word 'FUCK' appears in every sentence they use. There was a time when 'SHIT' was very popular, but now its been replaced by 'FUCK'. I wonder which word will replace this in future(my imagination already running wild). Well, there was a time once we used to raise our fucking eyebrows when somebody used to use this word, but now we raise our eyebrows if one doesn't use it. Isn't it a fucking irony?? Ah!

My own personal experiences with so many fucking uncultured and uncivilized people who use this beautiful word all the time really inspired me to find out more about it. So I started digging wiki, webster, etc. and eventually I found out some fucking etymological facts. I'm posting 3 different stories, and which one is true, you've to find it out for yourself!

1. In ancient England a person could not have sex unless he had the consent of the King (or unless he was in the Royal Family). When people wanted to have a baby, they first had to get the consent of the King; the King then gave them a placard that they hung on their door while having sex. The placard had F.U.C.K. (Fornication Under the Consent of the King) written on it.

2. F.U.C.K. originated in the 1800s in London, when someone would be punished for prostitution. It was an acronym for the words, “For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge.” These words were written on the cells that held these criminals. Some time later the officers got sick and tired of writing these words, so they abbreviated to F.U.C.K. Later on they just started writing FUCK (without full stops).

The third one explains why we use an analogy 'Middle Finger' for 'FUCK'.

3. Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger, it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow; and therefore, they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as 'plucking the yew' (or 'pluck yew'). Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, “See, we can still pluck yew!” Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodental’s fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one finger salute. It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as ‘giving the bird.’ As the centuries passed by ‘yew’ became ‘you’ since both are pronounced in the same way. So, fuck you!

These are the three stories behind the divine word 'FUCK'. I guess you must be bewildered now. Did your knowledge expand? Good for you! Congratu-fucking-lations!! Now 'FUCK' is no more an ordinary word, but a fascinating subject to be studied and researched.

While doing the research on the work 'FUCK', I happened to listen the speech orated by the Late Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh a.k.a Osho (1931-1990). I didn't want to listen to some fucking Bhagwan giving reviews about 'fuck'. But seeing the comments on that audio clip, I made a brave attempt to listen it. After listening to it, all I can say is, it was surely an eye opener. The audio clip was about 5min, I'm posting exact words said by Osho.

"It is one of the most beautiful words. English language should be proud of it. I don’t think any other language has any such beautiful word. One of the most interesting words in English language today is the word ‘Fuck.’ It is one magical word, just by its sound; it can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. In language, it falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive and intransitive.

Transitive: John fucked Mary.

Intransitive: Mary was fucked by John.

As a noun: Mary is a fine fuck.

As an adjective: Mary is fucking beautiful.

As you can see there are not many words with the versatility of ‘Fuck.’ Besides the actual meaning, there are also the following uses.

Fraud: I got fucked at the used car lots.

Ignorance: Fucked, if I know.

Trouble: I guess I am fucked now.

Aggression: Fuck you!

Displeasure: What the fuck is going on here?

Difficulty: I can’t understand this fucking job.

Incompetence: He is a fuck off.

Suspicion: What the fuck are you doing?

Enjoyment: I had a fucking time.

Request: Get the fuck out of here.

Hostility: I am going to knock your fucking head off.

Greeting: How the fuck are you?

Apathy: Who gives a fuck!

Innovation: Get a bigger fucking hammer.

Surprise: Fuck! You scared the shit out of me.

Anxiety: Today is really fucked.

This was it! He then goes on to say that repeating the mantra “Fuck you!” 5 times soon after getting up in the morning clears your throat. How fucking cool is that! I've uploaded this audio in mediafire. You can download it and listen. I suggest you to listen it once. Here's the link.

Some amazing people like Bruce Willis, Guy Ritchie, Eminem, 50 cent and many more have contributed to this subject and we the fucking disciples, should follow their fucking footsteps and never fucking let them down. They may not even know how to use the words ‘joie de vivre’ or ‘bon vivant,’ but they definitely know how to use the word ‘Fuck’ in every aspect of their dialects. In future, children will learn Eminem lyrics instead of Ba Ba Black Sheep or Humpty Dumpty. Maybe someday in future, teachers might say to their students, "Why the bloody fuck haven't you done your homework?" to which the reply might be "I was fucking out of station" or "Fuck! I was fucked by the ill".

My dear folks, don't you think its time for us to start introspecting. Do we really want to set these kinds of examples to our younger generation? Do we really want some 10 yr old kid to say to us, “Fuck you, oldie! Can’t you just mind your own fucking business?” So common all of you, lets swear on Oxford, Merriam-Webster, Collins that we shall never fucking use profanity!

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