Movie Clichés!

Are you a movie freak? If so, you would have experienced the same, what I'll be penning down now. I've been watching lot of kannada and hindi movies lately and this is what I learnt from it.

Before I start, statutory warning for all the readers.

"WATCHING EXCESS KANNADA AND HINDI MOVIES IS INJURIOUS AND NOXIOUS TO THE MENTAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH".

1. If there is a sewing machine in someone’s house, it means they are poor. There is always an unmarried sister or a sick mother in the house.

2. If a woman is walking alone in a white saree and there is fog around her, she is a ghost.

3. If a woman has green eyes, she is actually a snake.

4. If a rich girl and a poor boy meet, they will definitely fall in love and eventually get married. Or else, they will suicide.

5. Two people can’t just play snooker without anything significant happening. A cunning scheme has to be plotted, or an argument must take place, usually about ethics or morals. If a person pots a ball, he is usually the winner of the argument. Or he is the one who comes up with the cunning plan.

6. If you see the feet of a little boy who is running in the first scene, he is going to grow up soon. And he usually runs to Bombay, or any other city to earn his living. And soon after that, he becomes filthy rich.

7. If someone has a drink, their speech becomes slurred and boisterous. They drive dangerously or end up getting beaten up. No one in a movie can have a drink without getting absolutely plastered. Even a sip of diluted breezer is enough to reduce the heroine to an incoherent burbling mess at a party where she would subsequently become an embarrassment to her father or husband, who would then give her mute, constipated looks of anger as she is singing in a slutty voice, usually with the cleavage showing. There is no other way a woman can have a drink

8. No one dies or gets hospitalized during a song. They show hero or heroin slightly drifting towards the sky showing all kinds of feelings and suddenly they land up near the opposite sex.

9. If a girl and a boy sing a song at the age of 5 and suppose they get separated, they will remember that tune until they turn 25. And their destiny is always scripted. That girl will definitely meet that boy and fall in love or get married.

10. If it rains when two people are walking, there is no way they cannot fall in love with each other.

11. There are no traffic signals in car chases. No one runs out of fuel.

12. Right after the hero rescues a girl after a rape attempt, he will either make her his girlfriend or his sister - depends on how hot she is.

13. Always, first hero falls for the trap of villain. He get beaten up and still he manages to kick some 20 butts. But the villains get enervated by just a single punch.

14. No matter how the twist in the story is, heroin always gets kidnapped by the villains. They use her as trump card, so that hero comes for the rescue.

15. 10 people shoot the hero, but still he manages to escape the raining of bullets. But the hero shoots only one bullet to each villain and bang!! He is a dead person..

Can you think of some more clichés? If so, write it in the comment box. This post is meant for educational and humor purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

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The Dark Secret Revealed!

It all started on the day when I had a small brown ball (almost a ball) of certain thickness in my hand. It was bit sticky and slightly elastic. 20 seconds into it and a suffocating quantity of highly corrosive and potentially pathogenic fluid starts to pour out of every available orifice. Fluid surrounds the material, and the upper part of the material etches away. Now the thickness of the material gets reduced for every 10seconds by a micron. This rate increases exponentially, and the old fluid gets replenished by a new fluid.

The old fluid drains out and remains are left in the chamber sorroundings. The new rejuvenated and fervent fluid can never fill the chamber because, the rate of old fluid draining out is faster than the newly generated ecstatic fluid. By this time only one half of the material will be etched. Its now time to drain the fluid, and flip the material over.

Now the process of draining out continues for a while and finally when the enough material get etched out, the dark, smooth, mellifluous, and bitter paste oozes out. This un-fermented paste is located in the core region of the material. Without etching the material, this region cannot be accessed. This new paste has to be sucked by creating low pressure region in the inner depths of the chamber.

The fluid, excited by the fresh oozing goo, helps initiate and hasten the flow of the thick paste. It helps by slowly dissolving the paste, making it a liquid and again raises the buds on the floor of the chamber.

Now the etched material gets reflected from the chambers and finally it gets crushed. The remains are drained out and certain materials raise certain buds while some other materials raise some other buds.

With this material, the buds at the front tip are raised and they pick up the dissolved material. The buds reach their highest peak when the goo oozes out and that's when you realize you have just a few more seconds before your chocolate completely melts in your mouth.

This is how a jobless freak describes the way he eats his chocoliebe.

Lost..

I felt stranded in the ocean
Waves lashing by,
Reflecting the nauseating sun
With Davy Jones’s chest calling me
With the lonely islands beckoning for company

This way or that
Where to go??

Here, there or nowhere
The world’s a big sphere – no corners, no ends

I'm Marooned with Jack Sparrow's Compass!

I walk the path –A path created
Or should I take a path unknown – a path I create
The path of forks, twists, turns and bends..

Obstacles plenty trip me down
Raging mountains and clouding forests
Evil forces of darkness found

Too much to listen

Too much to see

Baffled by the alternatives

I look at the senseless logic...trying to create sense

hope I'm followed by an albatross!

O! Mighty one
Let the lights on – the fire alight
Let the path glow
Shining through the forests
Lest there be darkness and puzzled faces
Wondering just where to go?
All lost in this world of yours…

Reminiscence of my life!

My mom came to me and said "chinnu..huttidhabbake hosa batte yavaga togothyo?(When are you going to buy new clothes for your birthday)" As soon as I heard the word "huttidhabba(birthday)" my mind started rambling and all my past memories just flashed into me. My birthday is on 17th of January, and just 7 days of 'teen' life is left. Over the past 10 years, birthdays have not been a special occasion, as it used to be when I was a toddler.

I remember as a child, my birthday used to be a special ocassion with new set of clothes and shoes to wear, mom's special delicacies to feed on and lots and lots of gifts. I used to get good amount of money as well to which used to make my piggy bank heavier. Coloured balloons decorating the hall, Mickey Mouse shaped(almost) cake, colourful candles, varities of food and my mom used to make "Vermicelli Kheer" which is my all time favorite. There used to be entire gang of bachcha party singing the birthday jingle. When I close my eyes, I recall happiest days of my life as child. Those were the days of innocence, fun and frolic. I still remember, the whole gang of my friends used to form like a train and run all over the house, and I used to be the engine. 20 years ago, a baby boy was escorted into the world, crying loud enough for a deaf man to get a pair of earmuffs lest his eardrums go tattered. After all it’s the mom's job to tell me that unless I kept quiet gumma barthe.

(from right, 2nd one)

As months rolled, I grew up into a normal kid, who thought thumb is god given candy, so I hogged on it. I used to toddle all around the drawing room, and finally end up sitting on the lap of my granny. It was one of the wierdest experience when my mom put a frock to me and took the snap. I guess at that time, I didn't know it was girl's clothes and I enjoyed wearing it. If you are wondering from where did frock come, it was my sister's. Even she helped my mom in dressing me. duh! As the days passed by a young toddler turned into a naughty lad who used to take pleasure in destructing any random object available. Any new item brought to me, never sustained for more than two days and that saga continues even today. My mom still scolds me, "neenu haLmadakke huttirodu(you are born only for causing damage)"

I spent next phase of my life in Bombay. My dad used to work in Kalyan, and there was a play ground next to my apartment. I can speak Hindi quite well, so I managed to get some good number of friends over there. The general timepass would be flying kites and playing high catches. I used to make Kite myself and with that I used to make it fly higher than any others. At that time, tennis ball wasn't a huge hit, but rubber ball was! Always I used to lose that rubber ball and ask my dad Rs.6 for buying a new one. One fine afternoon, when me and my friends were playing high catches, the ball fell into a huge sewage river which used to flow next to the ground. I made a brave attempt to get inside that and my whole body was covered with @#$%&*. Even after herculean effort, I couldn't take the ball out of it as my hand wasn't reaching it. That evening, it was just spankings from my mom. Getting into local trains in bombay is like getting gold medal in olympics. It was just pushing and pulling. Sometimes if you stand amidst the crowd, they automatically make you get into the train. I was very much fascinated by these acts and one day unknowingly I left my apartment and went to Railway Station alone which was at a walkable distance. At that time, I guess my age was 7yrs. Red colour train was more fascinating and I just went in and sat inside. Didn't even know what I was doing and where that train was going to. All thanks to almighty, my dad somehow guessed that I would be in railway station and after asking all the people and searching the whole platfrom, they found me. I still imagine what would be my position today if that train had left? what if my dad never found me? where would I be today? When I think this, it fears me even today. Well, its all past now and I thank the great almighty for staying with me always.

(from right, 2nd one)

After returning from Bombay, my life was just plain and simple. Used to go to trip yearly and spend most of the time slogging hard for getting good rank(never got though). Then two years of my college life went in vain studying for entrance exams. I couldn't clear any of those and finally ended somehow in BNMIT. Now I'm in pre-final year and next year I'm going to pass out and hopefully become more responsible. On 17th I turn 20, and I wish I could carry myself back to those fun filled days when having fun was more important than feeding the ego, grandfather's stories which was much more scarier than our assignments and exams, when dad’s shoulders were the highest place in the world, the annual visits to the circus/zoos. While I jotted these memories, I clutched my childhood close and left the chaotic present for a while only to realize that we cant get back what we have already passed.